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udah lama banget ga post

sebenarnya banyak banget yg gw mao critain, cuman karena badai malas melanda mulu

jadi ya begitu lah

ga kebayang uda semester 5 gw d uni, 3 semester lagi gw lulus dan gw ga tao gw mao ngapain

dan hitung2 uda 3 semester gw d melbourne. banyak bgt perubahan. dari hidup sampai hidup (apa coba) ya pokoknya perubahan

mikir2 kykny gw jadi makin bego, bhs indo gw bner2 uda brubah jadi jelek bgt, bhs inggris juga ga maju2 jadi mao komunikasi pake bahasa apa coba

but yeah, back to business

i've been suffering in depression for past few months. dont ask me why, cause i dont know

couple months ago i had an urge to get my ticket and fly back to indo. . an out of sudden idea

i've been thinking too much, way beyond my control and my expectation -fantasy

i have no idea on what i want and what i need

strange, stranger, weird, awkward. thats all i can say to describe myself

i lost my self identity

well whatever, forget it

okay back to campus life, last sem was great, this sem seems to be just okay

cos everybody have their own stuffs to take care of

this sem is not the so called 'saddest' sem as i expected,

cos the distance between our friendship seems to be moving and switching from one to the others

most of my good friends here, well i should say all of my good friends in berwick is leaving soon

in 2 months time, and i dont know when and where i will see them again

their last sem,, sad ..but nothing else i can do, besides preparing my self to say good bye, and maybe shower in tears,

sigh!!

great to get to know you guys,

okay ,ots of stuff to say but im lazy, (massive headache atm) lame

till then take care

it's just a dream

everybody have at least one dream 

a dream that tell a story, a fairly tale story. 

everybody dare to dream, because they need no worry about what is impossible, because in a dream, everything is possible 

dream maybe is a source of happiness, however i found it a tricky one

dream tends to give us hope, a hope that will never happen. perhaps a disappointment. 

i have a dream, and i dare to dream, because i know i can make things happen in my dream 

but the momment i open up my eyes, those dreams faded away, what left is a miserable feeling 

it doesn't feel good at all, some times i feel my dream is just so close to reach, but yet is still so far, indeed i will never reach that dream.

so i guess why the word 'dream' known as dream, because at the end it just a illusion. 

it's just a dream

b.l.o.g

been reading my friends' blogs. 

and i found out that people tends to blog when they feel upset. 

when they feel miserable, when they thing they have no one to talk to. 

(well that's more on my self) 

blowing wind

summer 

the trees were green 

the wind was breezing 

the birds were singing 

life seems meaningful 

autumn 

mellow of the trees

chilling of the wind 

empty sky 

life is fading 

winter 

leaves on the ground 

fog cover the sky 

birds are hiding 

life seems meaningless 

sinking boat

sink. 

everything feels like lost forever, 

no good reason to holding on. 

every breath is a waste of energy 

every step is the move to the end

sink. 

never know what is going on 

even now everything seems meaningless

every reality is a pain 

every dreams is a fantasy 

sink. 

sitting on the boat 

i lost the balance 

i lost the comfort 

i fall 

i'm sinking 

i don't know what happen, 

and i can't react 

games that never end 

and i'm falling slowly. 

all i need is love

"how you remind me"

it has been 2 months since i'm working in wendy's dickinson.

really glad to be here. this is my first job i ever had. 

it isn't that tough even-though one of the manager is a bitch. 

well that bitch gives me some fun while working, at least i have someone to argue with. 

overall im having fun here. 

as the information, im a "night guy", i work for closing. it isn't a fun job for the others. somehow im enjoying it. even it is tiring and complicated. but yet i love it. 

every closing, the music from the ceiling will start playing out loud for entertaining purpose. 

and guess what? i found alot of songs that will remind me those days and friends in wendy's. 

those songs are: 

-womanizer. sing by justin (european whore working mate)

sometimes justin change it to sanitizer or baconator. he is really a fun guy. like to work with him, he is weird. touch his nipple. and said what's going on. 

-hot and cold. sing by riley (korean whore mate)

16 years old guy. like to be called as whore, kinda childish. but he is fun! 

we sing we shout and we laugh in deidra's car, after we catch the movie. "cos ur hot n ur cold, your yes and your no,....." lol

-graduation. sing by tom (sex whore? i guess)

weird? sex whore? i have no idea, but most of the time we talk bout sex, or teaching him some bad words in indon. emotional guy and a night star.his mad and happy kinda mix together. yet having fun while working with him. 

-realize. sing by briley, (genius) justin, and me 

briley is a genius guy, his position in wendy's is safety marshal. he is graduating soon from his high school. he just received a 20grand scholarship. and he applied harvard and yale for his future collage. WAH. cool. well this song is actually started by me, and continue by justin and followed by briley. 

this song also remind me bout duet with justin, every single night when i work with him. and he will said "we gonna win american idol" LOL. yeah 

-how you remind me.

this song is just so cool! it reminds me every seconds of my closing moment. 

besides those names and songs,

-  bo is also a great person, he is the employee of the month. as i know, he is a pro in guitar hero!

- deidra, she is a great friend. she gives us rides to walmart, home, watch movie, applebee's, and willings to drive to bismarck, which is an hour and half journey. she is such a great friend. and guess what? she is the employee of the month AND employee of the year. @.@

- gwen, she is a nice mother. she is just so amazing, she likes to sing rnb songs, age is not a problem for her. she is kind and a good person. she invited us to her house to had a great christmas dinner!

one of the most important person is JASON. 

he is one of the manager. he takes care of us. his is a dad of 5. but he acts young and looks young! he is a fun manager to work with! "diu diu diu diu" or "scooby doobi doo, where are you" those are the songs come from his mouth! kinda cute thou. 

those songs will definitely reminds me to my days and my friends in wendy's. 

"this is how you remind me" 

another 14 days to call out the contract. 

14 days working in wendy's. i can count the days and the person who i will spend with for the next 2 weeks. will meet some friends for less than 10 times or even 5 times. and is time to say good bye. 

and have no idea at all when and where will meet them again! 

such a great experience here! im really glad to be here. 

 

update

been so long again, finally i have that mood to type for this blog. 

i dont know how to start,. 

a lot of topics to write thou, such as: 

-after exam

-leaving melbourne

-holiday in malaysia

-work and travel in states

and bla bla bla..

whatever, okay im in states now, dickinson, north dakota. 

working in wendy's as busy body (everything) from grill to fries, to sandwich maker, to cleaner, and everything. 

have uploaded few pictures in facebook. feel free to take a look on my facebook! (link on the right hand side) 

nothing much to say, have to go to work in 1 hour. 

see ya!