routine in exam periods

awakened by the melody of birds

the moment i opened up my heavy eyes

i was surprised

i was greeted by the warm welcome from the summer air

later afternoon, the unusual broiling air heavily waved through my window

and yet i realized it is still spring

put on my summer clothes to make sure my body is ready for the heat

and i head to school to begin my daily routine

nothing else besides perching on the rolling chair and flipping through my notes with the fragrance cup of coffee to make sure i am ready for the rest of my day.

run across familiar strangers in library, listened to undesirable noises

i told my self i need to pinpoint on my books and notes

the routine in the library ended by the familiar voice saying 'library close in 5 minutes'

loaded my 'equipment' into my -great gift from my friends- bag, as i ready to go

the frame of mind rooted by my cup of coffee faded away, as the sun begin to say good bye for the day

my stomach began to play the rolling drum, reminded me it is the time to fill some edible stuffs in to it.

prepared my dinner as i reached home, and finished it while enjoying some entertainment streaming from my computer.

i called it a day when the time showed 04:35am

4.01 am

hey there,

i know my blog is basically my own conversation, but who cares.

cause i found it interesting when i read back all those memories. :)

now is 4.01 am tuesday.

exam is next week, and i havent prepare yet.

i just dont have the mood to study.

these few days, i've been thinking of Dickinson, the people there and the experiences i had last year. time flies, it has been a year since i last saw them, but somehow it feels like last couple of weeks.

besides, i also have a tension to fly to malaysia, to meet up my friends there, as i guess i need an update from them.

i miss all of them, like really do.

life in melbourne is so far so good. nothing much happen

but what i realize from myself is im random, i hate my randomness.

and i think im weird too :D/

but wells, i dont give a shit, i dont care

i mean i just dont want to think of it.

i want to go back to dickinson so badly, like really2 bad..

i miss the snow, the apartment, wal mart, wendy's, and mates over there. :(

im thinking of the song which made me get to know tom, but i couldnt remember anything.

so frustrated, omg. .

huh.

okay thats about it i guess.

summer is coming :)

i hope i will have a fantastic holiday :D

kembali

udah lama banget ga post

sebenarnya banyak banget yg gw mao critain, cuman karena badai malas melanda mulu

jadi ya begitu lah

ga kebayang uda semester 5 gw d uni, 3 semester lagi gw lulus dan gw ga tao gw mao ngapain

dan hitung2 uda 3 semester gw d melbourne. banyak bgt perubahan. dari hidup sampai hidup (apa coba) ya pokoknya perubahan

mikir2 kykny gw jadi makin bego, bhs indo gw bner2 uda brubah jadi jelek bgt, bhs inggris juga ga maju2 jadi mao komunikasi pake bahasa apa coba

but yeah, back to business

i've been suffering in depression for past few months. dont ask me why, cause i dont know

couple months ago i had an urge to get my ticket and fly back to indo. . an out of sudden idea

i've been thinking too much, way beyond my control and my expectation -fantasy

i have no idea on what i want and what i need

strange, stranger, weird, awkward. thats all i can say to describe myself

i lost my self identity

well whatever, forget it

okay back to campus life, last sem was great, this sem seems to be just okay

cos everybody have their own stuffs to take care of

this sem is not the so called 'saddest' sem as i expected,

cos the distance between our friendship seems to be moving and switching from one to the others

most of my good friends here, well i should say all of my good friends in berwick is leaving soon

in 2 months time, and i dont know when and where i will see them again

their last sem,, sad ..but nothing else i can do, besides preparing my self to say good bye, and maybe shower in tears,

sigh!!

great to get to know you guys,

okay ,ots of stuff to say but im lazy, (massive headache atm) lame

till then take care

it's just a dream

everybody have at least one dream 

a dream that tell a story, a fairly tale story. 

everybody dare to dream, because they need no worry about what is impossible, because in a dream, everything is possible 

dream maybe is a source of happiness, however i found it a tricky one

dream tends to give us hope, a hope that will never happen. perhaps a disappointment. 

i have a dream, and i dare to dream, because i know i can make things happen in my dream 

but the momment i open up my eyes, those dreams faded away, what left is a miserable feeling 

it doesn't feel good at all, some times i feel my dream is just so close to reach, but yet is still so far, indeed i will never reach that dream.

so i guess why the word 'dream' known as dream, because at the end it just a illusion. 

it's just a dream

b.l.o.g

been reading my friends' blogs. 

and i found out that people tends to blog when they feel upset. 

when they feel miserable, when they thing they have no one to talk to. 

(well that's more on my self) 

blowing wind

summer 

the trees were green 

the wind was breezing 

the birds were singing 

life seems meaningful 

autumn 

mellow of the trees

chilling of the wind 

empty sky 

life is fading 

winter 

leaves on the ground 

fog cover the sky 

birds are hiding 

life seems meaningless 

sinking boat

sink. 

everything feels like lost forever, 

no good reason to holding on. 

every breath is a waste of energy 

every step is the move to the end

sink. 

never know what is going on 

even now everything seems meaningless

every reality is a pain 

every dreams is a fantasy 

sink. 

sitting on the boat 

i lost the balance 

i lost the comfort 

i fall 

i'm sinking 

i don't know what happen, 

and i can't react 

games that never end 

and i'm falling slowly. 

all i need is love