it's just a dream

everybody have at least one dream 

a dream that tell a story, a fairly tale story. 

everybody dare to dream, because they need no worry about what is impossible, because in a dream, everything is possible 

dream maybe is a source of happiness, however i found it a tricky one

dream tends to give us hope, a hope that will never happen. perhaps a disappointment. 

i have a dream, and i dare to dream, because i know i can make things happen in my dream 

but the momment i open up my eyes, those dreams faded away, what left is a miserable feeling 

it doesn't feel good at all, some times i feel my dream is just so close to reach, but yet is still so far, indeed i will never reach that dream.

so i guess why the word 'dream' known as dream, because at the end it just a illusion. 

it's just a dream

b.l.o.g

been reading my friends' blogs. 

and i found out that people tends to blog when they feel upset. 

when they feel miserable, when they thing they have no one to talk to. 

(well that's more on my self) 

blowing wind

summer 

the trees were green 

the wind was breezing 

the birds were singing 

life seems meaningful 

autumn 

mellow of the trees

chilling of the wind 

empty sky 

life is fading 

winter 

leaves on the ground 

fog cover the sky 

birds are hiding 

life seems meaningless 

sinking boat

sink. 

everything feels like lost forever, 

no good reason to holding on. 

every breath is a waste of energy 

every step is the move to the end

sink. 

never know what is going on 

even now everything seems meaningless

every reality is a pain 

every dreams is a fantasy 

sink. 

sitting on the boat 

i lost the balance 

i lost the comfort 

i fall 

i'm sinking 

i don't know what happen, 

and i can't react 

games that never end 

and i'm falling slowly. 

all i need is love

"how you remind me"

it has been 2 months since i'm working in wendy's dickinson.

really glad to be here. this is my first job i ever had. 

it isn't that tough even-though one of the manager is a bitch. 

well that bitch gives me some fun while working, at least i have someone to argue with. 

overall im having fun here. 

as the information, im a "night guy", i work for closing. it isn't a fun job for the others. somehow im enjoying it. even it is tiring and complicated. but yet i love it. 

every closing, the music from the ceiling will start playing out loud for entertaining purpose. 

and guess what? i found alot of songs that will remind me those days and friends in wendy's. 

those songs are: 

-womanizer. sing by justin (european whore working mate)

sometimes justin change it to sanitizer or baconator. he is really a fun guy. like to work with him, he is weird. touch his nipple. and said what's going on. 

-hot and cold. sing by riley (korean whore mate)

16 years old guy. like to be called as whore, kinda childish. but he is fun! 

we sing we shout and we laugh in deidra's car, after we catch the movie. "cos ur hot n ur cold, your yes and your no,....." lol

-graduation. sing by tom (sex whore? i guess)

weird? sex whore? i have no idea, but most of the time we talk bout sex, or teaching him some bad words in indon. emotional guy and a night star.his mad and happy kinda mix together. yet having fun while working with him. 

-realize. sing by briley, (genius) justin, and me 

briley is a genius guy, his position in wendy's is safety marshal. he is graduating soon from his high school. he just received a 20grand scholarship. and he applied harvard and yale for his future collage. WAH. cool. well this song is actually started by me, and continue by justin and followed by briley. 

this song also remind me bout duet with justin, every single night when i work with him. and he will said "we gonna win american idol" LOL. yeah 

-how you remind me.

this song is just so cool! it reminds me every seconds of my closing moment. 

besides those names and songs,

-  bo is also a great person, he is the employee of the month. as i know, he is a pro in guitar hero!

- deidra, she is a great friend. she gives us rides to walmart, home, watch movie, applebee's, and willings to drive to bismarck, which is an hour and half journey. she is such a great friend. and guess what? she is the employee of the month AND employee of the year. @.@

- gwen, she is a nice mother. she is just so amazing, she likes to sing rnb songs, age is not a problem for her. she is kind and a good person. she invited us to her house to had a great christmas dinner!

one of the most important person is JASON. 

he is one of the manager. he takes care of us. his is a dad of 5. but he acts young and looks young! he is a fun manager to work with! "diu diu diu diu" or "scooby doobi doo, where are you" those are the songs come from his mouth! kinda cute thou. 

those songs will definitely reminds me to my days and my friends in wendy's. 

"this is how you remind me" 

another 14 days to call out the contract. 

14 days working in wendy's. i can count the days and the person who i will spend with for the next 2 weeks. will meet some friends for less than 10 times or even 5 times. and is time to say good bye. 

and have no idea at all when and where will meet them again! 

such a great experience here! im really glad to be here. 

 

update

been so long again, finally i have that mood to type for this blog. 

i dont know how to start,. 

a lot of topics to write thou, such as: 

-after exam

-leaving melbourne

-holiday in malaysia

-work and travel in states

and bla bla bla..

whatever, okay im in states now, dickinson, north dakota. 

working in wendy's as busy body (everything) from grill to fries, to sandwich maker, to cleaner, and everything. 

have uploaded few pictures in facebook. feel free to take a look on my facebook! (link on the right hand side) 

nothing much to say, have to go to work in 1 hour. 

see ya!

living in the uncomfortable zone

living in the uncomfortable zone teach me how to live my life to the fullest.

i have been here for about 3 months, 
and it is my first time to step into the life, where i have to reform and plant my self into a new church
it sounds good, but in fact it doenst taste so good. 
my current physical life is just so perfect, but my spiritual life is kind like 'dying'. 

i thought everything will be find here, my life, my study, my friends, my church and my community 
everything is very perfect, just my church and my community life is not.
i've been to two churches here, one is indonesian church (is really like fgcc) and the other one is family church (very small church)
the indonesia church is so far a way, one hour journey by train, so two hours for two ways. and it is in the morning
the family church is close to my place, the ps pick us up every sunday evening

in indonesia church, i joint the the class like i did in malaysia, the materials were all the same as u guys have there "change class" and i did join the camp (ER). but u guess what? i didn't get anything at all..
i asked God why, and the answer is 'im too proud of my self" i feel like i need no this kind of class because i joint for several times in malaysia. 
this is the first point that i want to emphasize on "PRIDE" 
                 +when u think u are great, i told u "He can makes the stone cleverer than u"
                 +when u think u dont have to bow down to Him, "He can makes all the sands praise to Him"
living as christians, we have to learn "how to learn", we have to keep reminding our self, that life is about learning! nothing will be too much to be learnt . 

as the time goes, i felt so weak, i felt so happy living in this current world! clubbin, smoking, and such
one time, there was a christian camp (hosted by christian fellowship monash campus) to one of the place here in melb, to explore the nature. i decided to join even i felt so lazy to do so. so finally i went for the camp. 
on that camp, i didnt bring any heart of worship, heart as disciple, all i had is the heart of having fun! 
and u guess? yeah God touched me and reminded me about my life. 
this is the second point, "when you are weak, HE is strong" 
                 +when u feel like u are nothing, He just can makes u move the mountain 
                 +when u expect nothing, He is the surprise for u

the third point is, back to basic "Trust in Him, and have your Faith in Him"
yeah this is what God told me during the camp. totally trust in Him, and put my faith in Him, the creator of all nations. 

========================================================================================
living in this uncomfortable zone, making me realized that who the true self of mine.
when i was in Malaysia, living with other christians, i can shout "God u are great" 
when i was in church, i can jump like im flying 
when i was together with those friends, i can tell His kindness 
when i was surrounded by chrtistians, i proved myself that i prayed to Him everyday 
when i was standing in the church i tell everybody that im holy and im great

when i am here surrounding by no one, living alone, go to church like normal people, no christian friends
what i do is showing me who am i. 
pray? daily bread? praise Him in my actions? my words? bless others? shout out loud that HE is great? 
BIG NO, 
seek His presence in my daily life? probably yes, when i faced problems!! 
sins? YES, im in love! 
THIS IS WHO AM I, WHEN THERE IS NO ONE AROUND ME
BUT, UNTIL HE CAME TO ME, and reminding me!! 
i realized how sinful and how selfish i am
i praise to Him for what He did, does, and doing in mylife! 

==>thats it guys, who are you when u are alone? ask your self! and see whether u are truthful to him or the vice versa ?

if u are same with me, and u are aiming for the perfect time to come and bring ur sins to Him 
i tell u "there will never be a perfect time" 
so, DO IT NOW!!

God bless u guys!!