the beauty of this life is one

hopeless dreams and hopeless thoughts

where am i going? no one knows.

who knows this could feel right.

indescribable feelings

unreadable emotions

hopeless dreamers and hopeless times

this don't feel right

who knows what i feel

.let me kiss the sun at night

cigarettes

.first thought.

the thought of never seeing you again

the thought of the promises

the thought of the time

the thought of this friendship

the thought of the distance

light me up like a cigarettes

the thought of being alone

the thought of the uncertainty of my future

the thought of the insecurity within me

the thought of what the world expect

the thought of proving my self

and just let me burn catch fire and burn

the thought of the impossible

the thought of the i'm possible

the thought of the dreams

the thought of the wishes

the thought of the lies

so let me just burn and vanish

the thought of these thoughts

let me burn

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

i think i don't have friends

tons of people coming into my life and goes away

round and round and round again and again and again

but no one stay

Habitual

along the river grasses grown

along the river water glided

along the river misty life begun

the mist that is so foggy that life seems to be the blind side of mine

i'm disappointed i'm upset i'm lost

D.A.D

new year, supposed to be a great start ahead

but, randomly my dad called on me, asked me why you guys never talk to me.

i had no idea how to reply him, heaps of answers appeared in my mind, but i just couldn't let it out, more on what to tell him.

at the end i said I DON'T KNOW

he started talking on something that i couldn't really get what he was trying to say.

next he said everyone's life has their purpose, and he asked me what's their purpose, i said everyone has different purpose of life.

he continued by i have fulfilled my purpose of my life, so what is next? im useless now.

he said he wants to see his children to be successful, but until now, no one has reach that point yet. (speechless)

the worse thing is he said 'i know your uncle's children gonna be excellent, but mine, all are stupid' yeah he said STUPID!

towards the end, he said i gonna die 'cham'...

i dont know what he wants,

all i know is he is selfish and he always think of something stupid instead of something positive,

i dont know what to do, I AM FRUSTRATED!!

REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATED

argghhhhhh

something stupid

few days since i touched down

first day in my real hometown

greeted not by what i expected

family is good, i always wish to spend times with them

but, what i expected seems far away

comment on appearance,

comment on everything i said and did

frustrated, i hate it,

i would rather stay in melbourne, with the hot weather

than this humid and unwanted greeting

skycraper

late at night

the moment when i think the city is dead

i walked out the terrace

i took a deep breathe, hold it and let it go

i opened my eyes and i see city lights

the lights that looks like the stars in the sky

at that moment, i felt like i'm standing on the top of the world

looking down to every details of everything down the earth

i am the owner of the universal